Seldom Seen

I'm still really tired but feeling much better. I don't get sick often but, I had to call in sick to work yesterday. Woke up at 5 am with a very upset stomach. Called the boss at 8 am (one hour before scheduled to work), up until then I thought I would be able to go to work. She said that it was a good idea for me to stay home since I had been throwing up and we work with food... no a good combination. So my day was spent either on the couch sleeping or knealing in front of the toilet. I have not thrown up in years and I can honestly say I forgot how bad it hurts. Around noon I decided to try eating a little bit of yogurt, thinking maybe introducing some good bacteria into my stomach would help. Not sure if it helped or not but I haven't thrown up since. So something must have worked.

I called my mother around 7 pm to see if she could come over to let the dogs out and feed them. She said that they were just getting ready to eat so if I could wait a little bit she'd be over after dinner. It's pretty bad when I can't even get  up to let me dogs out to pee. Mom came over after they had finished eating and brought me a couple of movies to watch. Dad is starting to get sick too. My sister called mom today to tell her that her whole family is sick today too, Amanda is actually feeling better which is good because she can take care of the baby.

This morning I woke up at 4:15 am and felt much better. Was really hungry but wasn't sure I dared eat anything for fear it would come right back up. I watched one of the movies that mom brought over last night (cheaper by the dozen), then I decided eat. Had toast and coffee. So far so good.

I have been saying I need a vacation from work but didn't really want to get sick so I could have one. See I had Thursday and Friday off to begin with then called in on Saturday, and was scheduled off today too... wow, 4 days in a row off. So I had to take one without pay but that's okay I was sick.

Well I have to go put clothes in the washer and do a few other things around here.

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Today has been a fairly typical day off from work. Nickie woke me at about 6:30 am to go outside, but I told her that I thought she could wait just a little longer, I was tired and didn't want to get out of bed just yet. At 8:15 am Nickie was back at the side of the bed, Dayna was along side of her this time for backup.... They insisted that they HAD to go this time. Well so did I... so I got up and let the dogs out to pee. I can't believe I was that lazy this morning to actually stay in bed until after 8 a.m. usually I get up by 6:30 am. I didn't go to bed until about 2 this morning. The whole family went to my sister's for Thanksgiving Dinner, we were to be there at 6 pm but didn't eat until around 8 pm (that is really late)... then by the time we talked for a bit and had dessert it was 10 pm. I got home at 10:30pm last night but then decided that I wanted to watch a movie (The Green Mile) so was up late.

After finally getting out of bed and getting dressed I went to my work place to pick up my check and stopped at the bank to make my mortage payment, then had to run a few other errands, and was back home by 11 am. I took Nickie in the truck with me while running errands... she hasn't been out in a while. Mom was over here just before I left and I asked Dawson if he was going to go for a ride with Nickie and I or if he was going home with Grandma .... he chose Grandma. My dogs are so spoiled. Since getting back home this morning I really haven't done much at all. I have attempted to do laundry, finish washing the dishes in the sink and cleaning the house. So far I've managed to take the clothes from yesterday out of the washer and hang them up (still haven't gotten the dryer fixed), wash and dry one sinkful of dishes (still need to wash the pans), and have swept the floors but haven't dusted anything.

I have spent quite a bit of time online today.... too bad I can't make money on here... or at least I haven't found out how yet :P

I have to go do barn chores soon, so that should get me offline for a bit. I am terribly addicted to the net, have been since I got hooked up 2 1/2 yrs ago. Everyone has their addictions ...right???

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I heard a song on the radio while I was at work today that I've never heard before. I had to stop and listen to the words to it...

I May Hate Myself in the Morning by Lee Ann Womack

: : Ain't it just like one of us to pick up the phone and call after a couple drinks
: : And say "How've you been" and wonderin' that maybe you've been thinkin' 'bout me
: : And somewhere in the conversation in old familiar invitation always arrives
: : And I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight.

: : Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want
: : And even though they just can't make it work out, well the ones who lingers on
: : So once again we wind up in each other's arms, pretending that it's right
: : And I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight.

: : Chorus:
: : I know it's wrong
: : But it ain't easy moving on
: : So why can't why two friends remember the good times once again?

: :
: : (Fiddle & steel solo)

: : Tomorrow when I wake up, I'll be feeling a little guilty, a little sad
: : Thinkin' how it used to be before everything went bad
: : And I guess that's what it is and only late night calls like this that we try to find
: : And I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight

: :
: : And I may hate myself in the morning
: : But I'm gonna love you tonight...

I love it, and can relate to it so well, though I don't usually feel too guilty, but I sometimes feel a little sad knowing that I can never have him the way I want him. I guess the reason this song really hits home is because this is the way I've been feeling the last two weeks. I know that I am better off not being with him, but I can help but wonder if things would be different... it has been five years. And that is another confusing thing, why after five years do we still find each other everytime we are single and need someone? Why do I go to him... and why does he come to me. Its not as if only one of us is the one that keeps coming back. "So once again we wind up in each other's arms, pretending that it's right", but why? We can not make it as a couple but we still hang on to that old friendship.  I could ask him to do almost anything for me  and he'd do it, and its the same with him asking for things from me. So why can't I ask him how he truely feels about our relationship?.....

I'm afraid of the answer...

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I haven't talked to PB in a long time, months actually. I worked with PB at my part time job, that I left in June, he was one of my bosses. He called and left a message on my answering machine yesterday saying that they had a found raiser coming up and that they missed me, and that he just wanted to "chit chat". I returned his call, which I don't normally do I'm a terrible friend at times) and we talked for about an hour ($ yikes $). It surprized me because he isn't one to sit and chat, but I am, so I really shouldnt have been surprized. After asking how I've been and listening to my sob story of the last few month he asked me to go visit him, says he misses going out for drinks after work. At any moment I was waiting for him to ask me to help with the annual "Home for the Holidays" and Sweepstakes fund raises (they are always looking for help), but I noticed that he just casually mentioned it and it was a brief part of the conversation (no pressure... he is so smooth) then we shared stories of different people we worked with and just "chit chatted" ... it was so nice to just sit back and relax and talk to an old friend about what ever came to mind. He was always one of my favorite co-workers there, boss or otherwise he is a nice guy, but has a hard time showing people that side of him. I think I will give him a call when I'm in the area sometime to see if he wants to have lunch or whatever...

I also talked to LF today and she sounds SO much better since the last time we talked. She had surgery just before I talked to her a month ago and she was still recovering... still is but is so much better. I dont' even want to see the phone bill next month, I talked to her for two hours (I so wish I could get service on my cell here), and to PB for an hour earlier today.... ouch! But I am happy tonight, knowing that they are ok and doing well ...

I SHOULD CALL MORE OFTEN!

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Oh my ears..

I couldn't sleep last night and doubt that I will be able to for the next couple of night either, due to bellowing cattle....

Oh the joys of living on a farm. We separated the cows from their calves yesterday. Some of these "calves" are 18 months old and some are from this past spring. Needless to say NONE of the bovines on this farm are too happy. Of course it wasn't bad enough that we separated all of them but we (Mom, Dad and I) decided that due to fencing issues at Mom and Dad's place it would be easier to keep all the different age groups separate if we moved them over here to my farm....

So I am the one who has to listen to them. Mom and Dad do live just across the road but the calves fence is just twenty feet from MY house .... hence, no sleep for ME.

That isn't the only uset we have here on the farm. Today moved the two little sows out of there tiny enclosure into the one big box stall. The only problem with that is that Lleo the Llama had to be moved out of the big box stall before I could put the little pigs into it. This is what created the problem ..... Lleo LOVES his pen..... oh boy, did I ever get some nasty looks when he realized that the little girls (pigs) were in HIS bed. I told him he will adjust, but he sees no reason why the 4 little steers couldn't have been the ones who lost their "room". I tried explaining that it was easier to move one llama then it is to move 4 steers but Lleo just didn't see it that way.....

No wonder a friend of mine told me I need a psychiatrist in the barn.....

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I haven't had a chance to write all week. I've had to work everyday since Wednesday so that left little spare time here at home... and by the looks of my house you'd think I've not cleaned it at all in a month. Honest I have. So that is the mission today... Clean, Clean, and Clean some more.

Had to take my mother to the doctor this morning to check her blood pressure. She has been checking it at home but they don't think that her machine is working properly so she took her BP machine in so they could check. Seems hers is working just fine, so they refilled her BP perscription.

While we were out I stopped in to see my friends Char and Laurie but they were on their way out to do some erronds so Mom and I didn't stay too long. I guess that was a sign that I really needed to come home and clean ...LOL.

So here I am on the computer instead of cleaning....

I did put a load of clothes in the washing machine when I got home so that is a start, but I haven't eaten anything yet today... haven't even had coffee!!!... so that is the next thing on the list or I wont be able to function for long. I rarely used to drink coffee, but in the last year or it has become a big thing for me in the morning. I also have been drinking a lot of tea lately too, so it doesn't matter which, but I function better as long as I've had  one or the other.

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I noticed that today's "Daily Tip" in the right hand column is TGIF (Thank God I'm Female).... Well the last few days I have not been Thanking God for being Female!

You've heard of women having PMS. In most cases the "P" stands for "Pre" ... in my case the "P" stands for "Post". You read it right, I get all upset and cranky the week AFTER. I know I'm backwards (with a lot of things).

Yesterday started out terrible. I woke up with a headache at around 6:30 am, let the dogs out to do their business and fed the cats (who were having a major fit because their dish was empty), I let the dogs back in and since I didn't have to be to work until Noon I went back to bed.

around 9 am Nickie (one of the dogs) woke me up, this time she didn't want out just didn't want me to be sleeping anylonger. The joys of having three dogs in the house are almost as good as having three kids... neither will let you sleep when you want to.

Okay since I am awake now I may as well get a shower and get dressed (God only knows who will show up if I don't)...

As I got in the shower I could here my father moving vehicles around across the road, and I could hear the Backhoe running so I figured he must have needed to move one of the trucks to get the backhoe out of the driveway. A few minutes after I got into the shower the cogs started to bark... I think that it is just Dad so don't really pay too much attention to it. A few minutes later the dogs are barking again and this time I can hear someone knocking on the door... and yelling "Amie... Amie are you in there". I'm thinking "what the hell is going on ... why are they beating on my door like that I have a freakin' doorbell...." "And why are they yelling?"

I get out of the shower, only then did I realize that my bathrobe is not in the bathroom, but in the bedroom ... and so are my glasses. By this time I can tell that the voice I am hearing is Ash's ... OMG not again... the man rarely comes to my house so why is it that he choses to do so when I'm not dressed. I grabbed my towel, put it around me and head for the bedroom to get my robe, hoping the whole way that I am not in veiw of the door.....

When I finally went to the door he is standing out in the lawn (said he didn't dare come up on the porch because he didn't trust Nickie) and he asked me what was going on... Hello.... I was wondering the same damn thing. I mean if he wasn't even on the porch then what was he pounding on when I heard the noise? And why was he yelling? He could have walked around to the other door, where there wasn't a dog tied, and rang the door bell.

Oh well...

So he has caught me in less then what I had on the last time he came to visit. He was here to pay me for the cakes that I made last weekend for the Birthday Party.

The man has only been to my house three times and only one of those times I have been dressed. The poor guy will get the idea I never dress unless I know someone is coming by. Honest I don't usually greet company at the door in my bathrobe, but Ash probably thinks I do.

The rest of my day was no better.

I arrived at work by Noon, only to be greeted by an angry co-worker who had gotten scolded for coming to work an hour early and punching in without the managers permission. See that meant that she was going to have to leave an hour early, as to not get overtime, and the boss didn't like it because she hadn't asked. Well Nan had to give me her sob story about that. Shortly after the manager came to me and asked what Evie had to say about her the other day ... Why do we always have to have all this stinkin' drama... can't anyone just go to work and do their jobs, with bitchin' about others.

Vic then has to ask me if what Nan said about me is true. "now what has she been saying"...

Nan seems to think that R and I are having an affair. R works in another department and they all know that we did have a fling about five yrs ago. Now Nan thinks that it has rekindled because R isn't seeing anyone right now and she knows that he has been to my house a couple of times in the last month.... SO WHAT IF HE HAS.... what business is it of her's? The general concenses is that Nan is having a problem dealing with the fact that R and I have remained friends for all these years since our fling and Nan has tried to get in between us all this time. R can't stand Nan and that bugs her because she thinks she is God's gift to men and that ALL men want her... Well the last I knew R is a man and he sure as hell doesn't want her.

We should write a book about the adventures of our workplace.... what a "soap opera" it would be.

To be continued.....

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It has been a whole week since I've written, and I still don't really have anything to write about.

It has been a pretty uneventful week here in Northern PA.

We got our first dusting of snow of the year last night, which melted off by noon. But it started snowing again just before dark this evening so there is another light layer out there on the ground. 'Tis the season, I guess.

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The change in time has really got me messed up. Last night I was tired enough to go to bed b ten o'clock, and I woke up a four thirty this morning thinking it was time to get out of bed. And of course the dogs aren't sure what the heck is going on, why I'm not feeding them on time and why I told them at three this morning that they could wait a little bit longer to go out to pee. I know we'll all get used to it in a week or so but in the mean time ....

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